On August 8th at 2.45 am our teacher, Sri TKV Desikachar breathed his last. The person who taught so many of us – one on one – to breathe, to use our breath not only as a calming, healing tool but as the ultimate spiritual process.
He has found his freedom from the body and mind that had been wasting away. But letting go of somebody like him from our life is so painful. The last few days I have been con
sciously trying to breathe more deeply but there is so much heaviness in the heart, a sense of emptiness that the loss has left. This must be true for many of us who have had the good fortune of studying with this great master. He was, for many of us, a parent figure, a loving and caring father who saw to it that he got the best out of us, in all circumstances.
Our teacher was not out in the world, in the face of people proclaiming great knowledge or demonstrating extraordinary powers. What was most endearing about him was his quiet, unassuming nature, who was just there, available for all of us anytime we sought his help. He taught us by evoking the true powers of yoga, igniting them in our heart by building genuine relationships, by offering what is most appropriate in the most palatable manner! I remember days when I have felt so depressed and miserable and gone to him. He never asked why, he never counseled. All he did was, with great compassion and attention, chant for me, sometime for 20 minutes or even 40 minutes, till I settled down and began to breathe in a relaxed manner. He would sometimes make me a hot drink from the kitchen and see me off with a smile and I was also smiling! How this man could offer this kind of attention and loving care to all his students, has remained a mystery!
All that he taught, he said was what he learnt from his father, he would quote his “Appa” often. But we know that the very precise method of course planning in asana, or building ratios in pranayama or creating highly specific meditative practices for each individual that were creative and quite unconventional, were perhaps his own innovations. He taught us to keep this creative spark alive in us so that we can develop the most appropriate practice for a student, almost like performing an intricate surgery, like creating a piece of art! He brought in absolute precision with a rare kind of beauty and freshness in all the practices he offered that made our practice deeper and consistent; that helped students heal miraculously.
Our teacher could hold so many of us together, inspire us to continue to study, practice and offer only the best of our self to our students. Even when he was ailing and lost to the world, he was, and continues to be very much alive in our work each day. When I receive a student into my class each day, I remember how he would greet and make somebody meeting him for the first time feel so much at ease. When he walked with them to the gate after the session and said goodbye, he left people feeling they have already overcome most of the hurdles – he helped them to experience and calm, joyful and optimistic frame of mind that is the first step to healing. It is hard to live up to a teacher of that caliber and compassion. But we will try to, making a fresh start each day, with each conscious breath!
A Tribute:
How do we do this? How do we keep alive the spirit of this great teacher in each one of us, in our intentions, thoughts, words and actions? How can we work towards realizing what he started off, as a silent movement? To help people heal through the true experience of yoga – a quiet mind?
What I learnt from my own experience was this: you cannot practice /teach somebody yoga when the mind is agitated. He would say, it is like “yuddha kale shastraabhyaasam”: practising weaponry at the time of war. Instead, he used to offer interesting, unconventional practices that always worked for that individual!
If you are willing to experiment with me, join hands. Let this be a silent, secret revolution in our hearts.
Are you ready?
If you have people in your life that you would like to support healing, help them calm their mind, start doing something constructive and wholesome towards their own health and healing, try this practice for yourself holding them in your heart. By doing this practice, we can divert the energy we wastefully invest in worrying about them into something constructive, towards real freedom!
You can start with a short prayer to reinforce the intention for the practice.
30-40 breaths of pranayama (any technique of your choice) each in-breath drawing from your very Source – visualizing the breath coming from deep inside your heart – holding briefly (3-4 seconds or longer if possible) with the bhavana of strength and clarity and exhaling slowly and deeply, visualizing them releasing all the pain, clearing all the blocks from body and mind. Suspend your breath a while longer with the complete attitude of surrendering this breath for the health and wellbeing of this person.
After the initial heaviness and pain in the beginning – depending on our emotional investment in that person - you will begin to sense the ease of flow – may take even a few days, so persist!
When you feel ready, drop the regulation and continue to hold the visualization with your natural flow of breath, taking your awareness deeper into the heart space feeling its expansion and relaxation with each breath. Each time pause a while longer after each exhalation with the bhavana of dissolving the self into the stillness.
As you progress with the practice, embrace all living beings on this planet, the very earth we are seated on, as your partner in practice… It will sound a bit haughty to say, “I am clearing away the pain of the whole world” – therefore let that thought also dissolve in the pure awareness of your heart…
Stay there in stillness …
Then inhale drawing all your strength from within to offer this world.
Let it create a new pathway for the mind and prana, towards real freedom!
This will be a fitting tribute to all our great masters who have lived and taught what is most important and left their breath here for us to draw from…
Let all living beings be peaceful!
love,
Saras
