The looking glass called sattva

As the New Year approaches, we are busy preparing for holiday time, clearing up work, making plans for 2013 ...

This year has been quite intense for me, and I assume it is so for many people.

Is that true?

It is really interesting, as I write this, I realise how easily and comfortably we make assumptions. And how obstinately we act on our assumptions. The nature of the mind to hook on to a certain perspective of reality and base all its actions and experiences on this perspective. How much we suffer, how insensitive we are of somebody's suffering (because we have not seen it or experienced what they have been through), how careless we are with our opinions and judgments. Whatever efforts I make, I cannot completely understand and grasp your reality, your experience, your feelings and emotions. I can say “I understand how you feel”, we always say that but we really cannot! Either we don’t know that we don’t really understand or most often we are lying to please/comfort.

In the fourth chapter of the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali presents a very beautiful sutra :
Vastu Saamye Citta Bhedhaat Tayah Vibhakthah Panthaah (YS 4.15)

Meaning, the object being the same, because the mind is different, we see the object differently. The path the mind takes to comprehend an object or a particular reality is different for each person. So the object appears to be different, sometimes this difference can be like the difference between the sun and the moon!

To understand this Sutra, we have to look at the whole process of perception as our entire life is shaped by how we perceive reality. It is a given that we do not perceive any reality as it is. Always distorted. And what distorts our perception of a reality? It will be interesting to explore.

Let us now zoom into one specific recent experience that left us upset, angry or irritable - rather reactive in some way.

Recollect the incident in all its details.

Make a simple note of what you saw/heard/felt etc.

Continue to hold the incident in your mind's eye and watch carefully for everything that has come in the way between you and the incident/person.

You will be able to recollect some previous experiences (similar to that situation, relating to that person) flood back - see these impressions and make note of them.

What you know of that person/situation begin to surface, make notes. (we are capable of coming to conclusions with very minimal or no information whatsoever, do you see that?)

Your previously held judgements crop up - acknowledge them, make notes.

Beliefs of yourself/other may also be seen if you waited and watched carefully - these are more deep-rooted and often remain in the unconscious realm.

You slowly begin to connect with layers and layers of impressions that have gathered on to the mental lens that have been activated by this incident. Every bit of your current reaction can be in some way traced back to your past.

And it does not end there, each subsequent experience has a cumulative effect leaving behind more impressions that further colour and confuse our perception and direct our actions keeping us perpetually stuck in a vicious cycle.

But wait, perhaps there is something more to it.

You do realize that you don’t always feel or react so badly, there are times when such an incident has not brought up so much of reaction in your mind. So, it is not the impressions alone, it is the state of mind at that time.

If the mind is already agitated and dispersed, that energy - Rajas - dominates the mind and causes all the reactions to surface. If the mind is already clouded and confused - Tamas - it withdraws but gathers the impressions and begins to ruminate on them, postponing reactions to a later time.  But when Sattva dominates, it sees through all the layers very clearly because the mind is neither too agitated nor clouded.

The very essence of yoga - the way Patanjali defines yoga - Citta Vrtti Nirodha (YS 1.2) is about clearing the mind so that our perception is not clouded or distorted by pre-existing impressions. This can only happen when Sattva prevails, when Rajas is controlled and Tamas is reduced.

Then the task becomes simple, quieten the mind, clear it, clean up past impressions through practice and maintain a stable, peaceful state of mind that will not succumb to the old patterns of habit.

Awareness is key, the only way being regular practice.

When we cultivate pure, non-judgemental awareness, we see through the layers of impressions, the whole process more clearly.

Then, perhaps we can hold our truth more lightly.

We maybe able to empathise better with others.

We may not want to thrust our opinions and judgements on them so carelessly or ruthlessly.

We may grow more compassionate and understanding,

We may get closer to reality, to what is.

“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday - unless you are too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”                - old Zen adage

Best wishes,
Saras

The choices we make…

There is always a better choice, even when we want to believe there is none. And when this choice is exercised, it can be both empowering and liberating. This month's issue is about looking at why we make the choices we make and how it matters. Of course, when in doubt, ask Patanjali, seek out the wisdom from the Yoga Sutra.

We are often torn between several alternatives to be considered while engaging in an action. Whether it is picking up food off a supermarket shelf or choosing the kind of education for your children or a system of medicine or the kind of yoga class you want to go… window-shopping, nibbling here and there, has become a way of life for most of us. The end result is that we are not really clear about what we really want out of life, more confusion, more advice, more choices… leaving us always wanting, unhappy and discontent.

The next time a “what” pops up, consider asking yourself “why?” and ”how?”

The why behind our actions   The “why” will clarify our intentions. There maybe an apparent pretty intention that we are often stuck with. Dig deeper to locate what drives this action. Is it my fear and insecurity? My attachment to a particular outcome? How is my sense-of-self identifying with this action? How strongly am I invested in what is to come out of this action?

When we are able to recognize the deeper intention behind the action, it can help us at two levels:

• take responsibility for the action, knowing fully well where it is coming from.
• we could choose to refine the intention before the action. This can also be done in retrospective so that we can refine in future to avoid or minimize future suffering.

Refining intention is about really making the right choice. At this level there are only two choices.

• allow the action to be driven by our pleasure seeking, pain avoidance tendency – this is often compulsive, unconscious, conditioned and has its own momentum.
• Stop and ask why I want to do it? How does it serve me?

This could be about a simple innocent act of reaching out to a second helping of that delicious dessert or about wanting to thrash out at somebody over phone, sms, email or in your own head!

The wisdom behind the why of an action is answered beautifully in the Yoga Sutra of Patanjali. (YS Chapter 2.18)

Nature (mind, body and the entire material reality) exists to serve the Self (the Consciousness) in two areas of fulfillment:

• Bhoga: for worldly experience (that is constantly driven by pleasure seeking, pain avoiding tendencies)
• Apavarga: for freedom from suffering; the path of discernment, towards finding your true nature.

So, let us ask ourselves why we want to do an action, is it to further our own suffering by feeding our attachments, aversions, fear and the ego's need to constantly protect itself or do we want to do it to free ourselves from such conditioning, from suffering? Do we want to get stuck or unstuck?

And if there is clarity, naturally we only want to do what will take us away from suffering, right? Instead of perpetuating suffering through our actions, however innocuous they may seem.

The how of an action   Then essentially there is only one choice, to free the mind, to move towards greater freedom from suffering. And for that we need to bring in the attitude of reverence and service. When enumerating the qualities of Abhyasa (effort/practice) in the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali calls it “aasevitah” – let it come from a space of reverence.

Serving our Self also includes serving the other, the other only being a reflection of us. We are so inseparably interconnected with the entire humanity, the entire universe. Whatever we do has a repercussion on the people around us, our environment and the world at large.  Every flower, leaf, blade of grass, a bumble bee, a broken twig… everything exists to serve each other, has served, is serving or is getting ready to serve in some way. This includes our body, mind and all our resources, including our vital energy, prana that is at our disposal any given moment.

Daily Wisdom

Let us take a few minutes to explore this idea in the context of everyday life to see what it means to us at this point of time, focusing on specific areas of life where constant choices have to be made and consequences dealt with:

How may I serve my body better?

So that everything I do for my body and with my body will take me to better health and inner harmony. Then perhaps, instead of indulging or punishing my body, I will choose to treat it with reverence as it is my instrument for spiritual progress.

How may I serve my mind?

So that instead of feeding the compulsive tendencies of the ego, I can get my ego to serve a higher purpose. I may then choose to question my resistances and reactivity to find a better way of being.

How can I serve my prana?

So that I can choose silence and mindful actions instead of empty chatter and wasteful, dispersed actions that dissipates my prana. So that I can clear my physical, mental, emotional blocks that leave my prana stuck and unavailable.

How can I serve my relationships, the people around me?

So that I can receive and offer with gratitude, enable my own growth and generate peace and harmony in my environment.

How can I work better?

So that my work can be my way to freedom from suffering, my work can help me find more clarity and joy. So that my work can be my service to humanity and world at large..

How can I serve my spiritual growth?

So that everything I do takes me to a better space, towards less conditioned actions, towards more stability and centredness. Actions at this level become means to serve to the Highest Intelligence that operates through this Universe, through each individual being, that Patanjali calls Isvara Pranidhana (YS 2.1)

And so, if we are seeking to evolve, to grow spiritually, there is essentially no choice. There is only one way, the intelligent way, the way to empowerment and real freedom.

Call it the way of Yoga or the way of the Tao…

Can you sense your dependence?

“I cannot stop myself from reaching out to a chocolate when I am depressed”.

“When I am angry, I eat a LOT!”

“Why do I always want to eat, I don’t understand!”

The majority of mankind, at least in the “civilized world” live enslaved by senses. They rule our choices, constantly propelling actions seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. All our habits, relating to sense satisfaction are created and sustained by these inherent opposing energies and for most of the time seem beyond control.

The forgotten limb: Pratyahara   There is one limb of Astanga yoga (the eight limbs of yoga) that is often forgotten or ignored, lying almost invisible on the threshold between external (bahiranga) and internal practices (antaranga) - Pratyahara. Even though classified as bahiranga sadhana by Patanjali (Yoga Sutra 3.7), it is a very subtle dimension that is often taken for granted or understood rather poorly. But we do know from experience that without controlling the sense organs, it is not possible to progress towards deeper meditative practices. In our attempt to meditate, we are still struggling to concentrate with the distractions caused by sense organs. Since the mind (manas) is so intimately connected with the senses and is transacting through them, it is also considered a sense organ. Until the mind is stabilized and senses are controlled by this mind, meditation remains just an idea.

The role of senses   Senses are the windows to the mind, bringing in a myriad of experiences that the mind learns to interpret and respond/react. Each of the five senses work in tandem creating a complete experience. We see, smell, feel, taste and hear. And these faculties are strongly conditioned by our constitutional tendencies, family, regional and socio-cultural factors. I was in a bus with a group of student volunteers from the west, who were going back to their country after a few weeks in India. Everybody was fantasizing about food, “the first thing I will have is good bread, bacon and real burgers”. I smiled as I listened, remembering my first trip abroad and how I craved for ‘curd-rice and pickles’!

To develop healthy control over the senses, we need to understand how they work. The Sankhya philosophy (that offers the philosophical foundation for understanding yoga) provides a beautiful perspective that is also reflected in many sutras of Patanjali.

Since the role of senses is an extensive subject in itself, let us just look at our food cravings as an example to understand how they operate.

I draw inspiration from the sutra on sense control (Yoga Sutra 3.47) that talks about reflecting on the process of moving from the gross to the subtle.

Sense reflections   Take a specific food craving that has been bothering you for sometime, making you feel powerless and leaving you feeling guilty whenever you have indulged. It is very important to accept that this attachment is affecting your health and well-being. It is no longer an idea in the head like “chocolate is bad for me”, “I should not be eating this so much”. Develop a strong conviction to overcome the desire.

Grahana: the process of grasping the sense object.

What draws me towards this food? Become aware of the combination of sensory inputs that draw from memory the near-complete experience of the food in your mind. As you read this, you can picture the food, smell it, even taste it and salivate… without the food actually being there. See the power?

Grahana also is your mind (manas) that is locked up with the sense organs and follows them obediently.

Where is my prana flowing? What am I seeking to experience?

Svarupa: the essence or form of the respective organs.

The inherent nature of the eyes, that see and remember, the olfactory senses that have captured the aroma and bring them back, the taste buds that can relive a taste to near perfection, the textures you can feel.

Deconstructing the process: learning to separate each of their actions as individual patterns of prana flow in the direction of the object of craving. See it happen the next time you think of the food/are tempted by it.

How are my senses conditioned and how are they operating in tandem?

Asmita: the ego-indentity.

The ego identifies strongly with our personal likes and dislikes. Some people do not like sweets and love bitter coffee and I can’t seem to understand how! We are constitutionally programmed, conditioned by life experiences and social, cultural and family food habits. And when this identification is strong, it becomes difficult to resist. We feel so deprived, almost like a victim when we don’t allow ourselves to indulge. Sometimes it is a strong emotional reaction to an experience of illness or identification with a principle or value that has re-condition the senses.

Separate yourself from the food and see the individual thought process identifying with it.

What part of “me” is invested in this experience?

Anvaya: the inherent quality that is common to all the senses.

A more subtle undercurrent that encompasses the action of all senses is the gunas. The sense organs are dominated by Sattva (clarity) and Rajas (activity). And when tamas is not far behind it makes the mind and the senses very indulgent. Be aware of what quality is dominating the mind at that moment. Are you very hungry? We do know that deprivation and physiological need induces more rajas, so also any strong emotional experience. When rajas or tamas dominate the mind, there is not much choice left. Sense satisfaction compensates for deprivation at other levels. And it actually feels good… at least for some time!

Conversely when the mind is more stable and clear (sattva domination), it is possible to create a healthy control without the sense of feeling deprived, without any repression. There is no inherent conflict in that moment, and we have won over.

What is my state of mind?

Arthavattva Samyamat: directing the meditative process towards the purposefulness of these.

Reflecting on the purpose of each action and experience, what it serves versus what it is meant to serve. Are we eating to live or living to eat? Is this action going to lead me to better clarity and peace or drive me into more pain and misery?

What is the purpose of this action? How does it serve me?

Indriya Jayah: Mastery of senses, what we are seeking to establish.

This sutra is essentially talking about deconstructing the entire process of sensory action, moving from the gross to the subtle, from the obvious to the underlying forces. A simple meditative practice can help to understand each step of this process that when applied in a particular situation, can then be translated to many such situations. Of course, staying with one process long enough to find clarity and strength is very important – samyama is a deeper, all encompassing disciplining of the mind and senses.

Try it, it can be a deeply liberating experience.

Best wishes,
Saras

Dealing with Depression

I was at a stationery store recently when suddenly the smell of pencils and scented erasers suddenly brought back long lost memories from almost 4 decades ago. Mixed feelings of excitement and mostly fear engulfed me - my memories of my early years in school - having been a very timid, fearful, lonely child!

Just like even a faint smell can trigger deep-seated memories, when we revisit a particular state of mind, most memories corresponding to it surface and begin to dominate the mind.

“No way I can do it”, “I just don’t have the confidence”, “I feel so unworthy”, “This is beyond my abilities”… An otherwise confident and positive person is now gripped by fear and uncertainty. one can’t but believe these thoughts and we are mostly frozen by fear leading to inactivity. Reassurance from others is mostly met with passive resignation or a belief that the other person does not really understand.

This world is quite familiar for most of us. When we are low or depressed,  no happy thoughts/memories can come up. Even an otherwise neutral situation is seen in the most unpleasant light. Worse still, we identify with these thoughts and act upon them, displaying unreasonable emotional reactions to people/situations etc. These reactions leave behind a very unpleasant taste, perpetuating more guilt, regret, pain and anger…

Our thoughts and our reactions to them define the substance of our life. They have the ability to perpetuate a pattern of thinking, action, behaviour that eventually can create a physical reality – be it ill-health, poor outcome of an initiative/effort or extended periods of emptiness and frustration.

What can we do about these thoughts?

Be aware The first step is to become acutely aware of the contents of the mind. It appears a daunting task, considering we have around 60,000 thoughts a day! But many of them are repetitive, having a set pattern of emotions, reactions and behaviours to go with them that are easily recognizable.

Observe Choose to simply step back and observe – one complete thought – without pushing it away or getting attached to it. Simply observe. Objective awareness of the thought, just like objective awareness of the body and breath, can come from training and this is what we are trained to do through regular practice of asana, pranayama and meditation. Through this observation, we can stall actions or choose to act differently when we recognize that it is the state of mind that makes us think/act this way. Don’t take the mind too seriously.

Counter inertia In countering depression it is very important to have physical activity (which is very important for activating the quality of Rajas in the body). If the mind tells you “I can’t do it, I have no energy or motivation left, impossible”, it is so convenient to believe these thoughts and lay back in bed. But if we observe and listen to these thoughts with neutrality and do not believe them, we might leave a small window open for possibilities. Engage in some physical movement, maybe a short walk or tiding your room.

You don’t have to do everything given in the yoga practice sheet. Just start somewhere - with your favourite posture and do it dynamically a few times with breathing in and out strongly. At the end of a few movements, you will have the energy for the next posture, and then the next… take each step as it comes instead of imagining you have to do a 30 minute long practice! Practice anytime of the day, except just after a meal.

Simple movements coordinated with breathing in the home while doing chores or a few stretches before you get off bed are excellent inertia-breakers.

For the teacher/therapist: A few Do’s and Don’ts

Keep it short initially as the complaint often is of low energy and lack of motivation. Keep it dynamic and creative yet simple enough to remember and practise. Using active sounds – chanting in the place of exhalation to engage the mind. This enables better breathing. Sounds such as Ha and Ra activates the diaphragm and abdomen emptying heavy energy in the lower abdomen and facilitates inhalation. The vibrations of sound in the throat can activate the Udana vayu and uplift the person, improving morale and motivation. Chanting helps drown the chatter of the mind, thereby freeing one’s attention to focus on the present. Try Brhmana practice hold the breath after inhalation from 3-8 seconds progressively - this activates the mind and body. Choose opening postures where the heart centre (centre of the chest) is free to open and expand. Vary the practice from standing to lying to seated to kneeling, encouraging active physical movement from one position to the next in a harmonious manner. Visualization can help build energy, engage the mind in a very specific process to counter the auto-pilot negative thought process. Encourage physical exercise walking, gardening, swimming…

Avoid kapalabhati or forced breathing techniques because it may churn up the mind and the person may tip into a downward spiral. Avoid extended periods of stay in a posture as that gives the mind a space to return to negative thought patterns. Avoid seated meditation with eyes closed for the same reasons; especially for a beginner. Avoid too much advice, the mind has its own way to filter what it wants to hear.

There is a Sasnkrit saying - Yuddha Kale Sastraabhyaasam – meaning you  cannot train to use a weapon in the middle of a war. In this case, if we train our mind when in a neutral state, we will be armed to tackle a depressed state.

The Fear of Healing

“Just for a moment, close your eyes and visualize yourself fully healed, completely free from this nagging back pain.” I was asking a student who has been suffering from chronic back pain for many, many years. She has been trying all kinds of treatment and is a sincere practitioner of yoga. Yet, progress has been frustratingly slow. She closed her eyes… just a few seconds… and shuddered ! “What is the thought?” “No, I don't think I want that to happen” she surprised herself when she said that. “Here I am trying everything under the sun to heal my back but I am also scared of healing?”


The fear of illness is one thing. We can sometimes get paranoid about falling seriously sick – ourselves or our loved ones. It happened to me and stayed for quite a while after I lost my sister very suddenly. But what about the fear of healing? How much are we aware of this strong pattern that then does not allow the body to open up to any form of treatment or therapy because the body does not feel “safe” to heal?


The Pattern of illness 

It is true that illness, like everything else about ourself, can become a conditioning (Samskara). The longer we stay with it, the more deep rooted it becomes. And quite unconsciously and sometimes even consciously, we get so attached to this habit, of falling sick, being ill, wallowing in the pain, enjoying the attention and allowances people give us. Soon this becomes so “normal” that we forget what it is to be normal. As a child I remember we had a neighbour who suffered from arthritis. She would always sit in her verandah and get hold of anybody passing by and start complaining about her pain, and she will go on and on... I have never heard her talk about anything else. We then learnt to dodge her and quickly, quietly pass by without getting caught!

“If I am healed, it will mean I have to now live up to the expectations of my parents who have always pinned high hopes on me as a high achiever, until I fell sick. I don't think I want to be working so hard all the time, maybe that's why I am stuck with this pain for so long!”

I have been there and know exactly how addictive it can be! We begin to develop a whole lot of subsidiary patterns that hold the illness in place, make sure it gets more complicated to deal with. Even our relationships and our sense of self in relation to others, our work and the world at large gets substantially redefined.


Be aware when illness begins to re-shape your sense of self

For a long time I did not understand why I was getting reactive and irritated when people enquired after my health. Whether they said “you are not looking OK” or “you are looking just fine”, I would get equally irritated! What an interesting paradox? My sense of self was now struggling with 2 identities: “not looking OK”. “looking OK”. It is then I began to wonder what this is all about.

Though reactivity or defensiveness does not help healing or the relationship (we carry so much anger and bitterness because truly, the “other” can never fully understand what we are going through), when we recognize our resistance and defensiveness, we have hit the key to deeper healing.


Recognizing Resistance 

The key to deeper healing With yoga, especially working with chronic issues, beyond the techniques and tools we need to be aware of the deeper patterns that are unwholesome and unproductive. Resistance to change is often the first red flag. Everytime I get defensive and say “you have no idea what I am going through” or ”I don't want your sympathy”, I address that pattern which traps our energy, vitality and motivation to heal. This helps get past stagnation and regression. Thus begins the process of reclaiming wholeness.


Reclaiming Wholeness 

When I talk about healing, I am not referring to the conventional idea of getting rid of the symptoms of an illness. Healing is about moving towards wholeness. It is about delving deep to find the missing part – the fragmented part of myself – my ego. When I accept “feeling OK” and “not feeling OK” as two parts of the same self, and learn to embrace them, the division disappears, and wholeness is reclaimed. Then healing happens effortlessly with body and breath working in harmony.


The Harmonizing Tool 

Yoga offers simple tools using the body and breath to facilitate this inner journey. Wherein the mind directs the action and remains an active witness, the breath guides awareness to deeper and subtler parts of our body, the battle-field of our fragmented self. When prana (vital energy) is infused, harmony is restored and toxins flushed out. The body and breath can harness the most powerful and intelligent resource - the Prana, to heal through calming the inner conflict and recognizing this wholeness.


Most often it is Fear that causes the defenses to come up.

“Fear is a very complex business, as ancient as the hills, ancient as humankind, and it has a very extraordinary story to tell. But you must know the art of listening to it, and there is great beauty in that listening. There is only listening and the story does not exist.”

- J Krishnamurthy, From The Whole Movement of Life is Learning 

- Saras